Home Again

03/12/2022


Hello again! I'm writing this on my phone in the notes app! I was released from hospital on the 1st! They didn't find anything wrong with me

Well at least nothing they'd admit to being wrong with me. They gave me an absolutely insane amount of antibiotics and steroids. I had 4 IV lines in and ALL FOUR were active the entire time I was there. And I was sent home with even more antibiotics. So like,, there's clearly something wrong and clearly something they aren't telling me. But they were able to confirm that I'm not gonna die which is good. I've been referred to mental health and a few outpatient tests still, but I have to sus out any further support myself. Social worker dipped. Bastard.


I am absolutely FUCKED UP . I am so tired and sore and bruised and just fucked. My arm is totally fucked up from IV lines and my chest is fucked up from me scratching it in agony. I literally carved off my own flesh. My meat!!!!

Sadly of course, I am missing my convention. I spent all of yesterday in bed. There's no way I could have gone. But my wonderful friends who I love so much are picking up goodies there for me and taking photos and using the tickets I couldn't get refunded. I love my friends so much. Everyone in my life is so wonderful . Being hospitalized has shown me a massive display of how loved i am. I am so loved. And I love so many. There's no way I can repay all of this love. Thank you to everyone who left such kind comments after my last blog!! You're all very sweet.

On my 2nd day in hospital (just before my 4pm blog update) I got put on some kinda crisis anxiety medication and tripped out for the next like 24 hours straight. I was in and out of a weird half dream state and I didn't feel any pain. It was great. I was very much not there and I have no idea how I managed to write a blog post. I do not remember posting it. Apparently more tests were done on me then.

While I was high as a kite I missed out on buying the JSK I wanted . So when I came home I got back onto Buyee and ordered my almost-dream-dress. I got the Cotton Candy Shop salopette in pink by Angelic Pretty . It'll be my first salopette. I still want the original lucky pack JSK. If you see it for cheap still please tell me. I am greedy and want both.
Right now I'm in the car on the way to my parent's friend's batch. They having a Christmas do and I didn't really want to go but my mum is too scared to leave me home alone and I don't want them to miss out. So here I am. Hamster jumped in the car and decided to come with us, so he's sitting in the back seat with me and keeping me company. My emotional support dog. I feel a little better now that I'm writing and doing something to take my mind off the pain.


When I'm better, I'm going to get a tattoo. I've decided. I want to get "I am happy because everyone loves me" by Louis Wain tattooed. On my thigh, I think, or maybe one side of my tummy. Because I am happy, and everyone does love me, and I like cute cats. I might have it redrawn in a kawaii style, I'm not sure yet. But I want the lineart to be rainbow. Thinking of tattoos, I'd also love to get one of Satan from Devilman. He's a very important character to me, and I think it would be very cute to have a pretty angel on me.

We're almost at the batch. I'm hoping I'll have enough energy to go visit the beach. The sun is so nice out here. Despite everything, I'm doing well.


Update, I made it to the beach!
Until next time!